Withered Flowers
by MissGCullen
Summary: It's 1939, the start of the Second World War. You've to leave for the war and you not know if you'll come back.But can you be sure that everything will be the same when you'll come back?Give it a try!
1. Prologue

Withered Flowers. 

Prologue

"What if Jacob comes back?" he asked me unsure if he should do it. I looked at him confused, there is not if in this situation.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I cuddled to his naked chest. "If he comes back you'll go back to him?" he asked, his voice was ready to break.

"I belong to you, I always did and I'll always do. Get over it." I said and place a kiss to his lips. He just kept me there, resting his forehead with mine. "I love you." he said, looking deep into in my eyes.

"I love you t

oo." I pecked his lips one more time and then I fell asleep at his naked chest.

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give it to a try!


	2. Alone with the realization

**Withered Flowers.**

**Chapter 1**

**Alone with the realization.**

I felt hot tears rolling down to my checks. Today my love, my life, my breath, my everything is going to the war. I wiped my tears away and hugged him. "I'm going to miss you so much." I said to him. My words were nothing in front of the real life. I was going to miss him so much; I was going to miss him too much, more than anyone would.

"I know Bells." He breathed in my hair. He had only two nights ago that he had proposed me and now he has to go. "You'll become Mrs Jacob Black when I'll come back, I promise." He kissed gently my lips. "I love you." he told me against my lips. "I love you too." I pecked one more time his lips and pulled away from his hug.

I went and hugged Edward Cullen, Jacob's best friend. He was like a brother to m but I never saw it, I was afraid of the chemist between us, but now, knowing that maybe he will never come back, I couldn't hold back. "Be careful." I told him. He chuckled in my ear when he went to kiss my check.

"Be careful too, Bella." He paused for a while. "I'll do my best keep him alive, but I only can promise for myself." I hugged him tighter. "That is the only promise I want from you." I kissed his check, let him go, taking a piece from my heart with him and then realization hit me. He was more than a simple friend, a guy who you see like your brother, it was _more, much more_.

Esme, Edward's mother, rubbed my back. "They'll come back." She comforted me. "What if not?" I asked her with watery eyes, "I know my son; he'll never give up fighting for his life, his family, his love." I didn't know what Edward has a love, but it did hurt me even in the thought. _What's wrong with you Bella?_

"His love?" I asked. She smiled proudly. "His love to save people, his love for his piano." She giggled. "For his friends." Can this man be dreamier? The girl who will win his love is very lucky. "I am afraid too, Bella." I looked over at Esme, away from the black sky.

"Why?" I asked confused. She just told me that she was sure that _he'll_ come back. "I try to persuade myself that Edward will come back but…" she shook her head. I saw tears rolling down her check. "Like you said they'll come back." I said and rubbed her arm this time. "He'll come back." I whispered, not knowing for who I said it.

1 month later

It has been a month; a whole month from the day which they left and I still didn't get any letter from Jacob. I always try to say at myself, he is just busy, he can't write but the agony is all over my body and it doesn't leave me a minute, a second. "Isabella! You've a letter!" Alice yelled. Alice is one of my two best friends and _Edward's _sister. My other is Rosalie Hale, Alice's fiancée; his has gone to the war too. Also Rosalie's boyfriend, Alice's and Edward's brother, has gone to the war.

I ran downstairs, wanting to take the letter in my hands read it, know that my fiancée is fine, that he loves me and he wants to come back to me. I finally showed up in the kitchen. I saw Alice handing a folder. "Yours is in the table." She told me and I grabbed my letter and ran upstairs. I locked myself in my room; I opened the letter when I sat at my bed.

_Dear Bella,_

_Probably, you're confused right now. I'm sure you're expecting a letter from Jacob. I shouldn't tell you that he is fine and alive because honestly I don't know! Me and Jacob separate when we arrived at the army house. They had sent him away at __France__ maybe and keep me here in the __Hawaii__. _

_They told us write letters for our family and I did. I consider you like a member of my family. You're like my sister; in any case you're getting married to my best friend. Any way, yes I had written a letter to my parents and to __Alice__ of course. It just felt right write to you._

_Hey, I have to go now. They asked us meet them out from exercise with the guns. A guy got killed only by that a few days ago. None of us wanted it, but they told us army is not a game. You can be killed from your countryman, in any time._

_With love,_

_Edward A. Cullen._

_P.S. Better hide the letter; I don't want you in any trouble with your family. Write back only if you want. _

I heard a knock on my door. With tears I unlocked it and opened it for the girls. They came in running, smiling and giggling. But they stopped when the notice me. "What's wrong Bella?" Alice asked, sitting next to me on the bed. "He isn't, is he?" Rosalie asked with a sadly voice. I shook my head.

"Are you keeping a secret?" I asked. They nodded their heads. "In our friendship, Bella. Now tell us." Alice said and smiled. "Edward sent me the letter." I said and gave it to Alice. Rosalie looked confused.

"_Dear Bella, Probably, you're confused right now. I'm sure you're expecting a letter from Jacob. I shouldn't tell you that he is fine and alive because honestly I don't know!..."_Alice keep continue reading the letter. "_You can be killed from your countryman, in any time. With love, Edward A. Cullen._ _P.S. Better hide the letter; I don't want you in any trouble with your family. Write back only if you want." _She finished the letter. I burst into tears when she read the part, _you can be killed by your countryman, in any time. _It broke my heart.

"Had Edward written you, and not Jake?" Rosalie asked surprised. I don't hide it, I am too. "Like it seems year Rose." Alice said. Rosalie sat down in the bed, put her had at her chin and frowned. Her eyebrows were closed in the other. She must thinking. "Interesting." She said and left the room.

"You start have feelings that you didn't have for Edward, right?" Alice raised an eyebrow. "Yes." I sighed. I didn't want it to be true, but it was damn true! "Just think and flow your heart. It'll help you decide if you write back or not." She said and left the room too. Leaving me,**_ alone with the realization. _**

A few days later

"Swan you have a letter!" Rosalie yelled while she was walking in the kitchen, where I was. "Here." She said and gave it to me. It was from the army…_again._ I opened it quickly.

_Love,_

_ How are you, baby? I didn't have much time to write you. I'm sorry. They sent me to France. Do you have any news from Edward? I really missed him and I am pissed that I can't send him a letter too. Please if you can contact with him, do it._

_Like I said, I am in __France__. We are getting ready for our _**trip.**_ Yeah trip, but I d__on't know how to say it different. We'll go to Berlin and attack in their town. We'll burned it, destroyed it, kill innocent people, like they did. _

_Baby I hope you're alright. Write me back soon._

_Yours,_

_Jacob._

"Is it from Jacob this time?" Rosalie asked as I finished the letter. I nodded, wiping my tears. Then just Alice came in.

"Jacob?" it was the only thing that she asked. I nodded again. I ran to my room. I took out a piece of paper and a pen. I started write, not to _him_, but to **him.**

_Dear Edward,_

_ How are you? I really appreciate the fact that you sent me a letter. I am glad hearing that you consider me, like a member of your family, like I do. Today I received a letter from Jacob. Yes, he is in France. He wanted to know how you are. I don't know what to write to him, so I'll wait for a few days, like I do with you. I wait for a whole month; couldn't he wait for at least five days? Yeah, it took me five days to find the nuts to write you back._

_ Everyone here is getting crazy. I am sure your mother told you that she is fine but she is not. She is always so agonizing and trembles for you life. Your sister is even worse. She is afraid of Jasper too. Rosalie seems take it cool but I know her, she doesn't. I want to admit something to you. Before the day you guys left, I knew I would have to be only afraid of Jacob but that day everything changed. From that day I started be afraid of you too. I had nightmares of you been killed, like I do with Jacob. But the one thing that surprises me is that you are in more than Jacob is._

_With Love,_

_ Isabella M. Swan._

"Bella, can we get in?" Alice asked as she knocked the door. "Yes, get in." I replied and then the girls were in. they looked the folder in my hands. "Will you write back at Edward too?" Rosalie asked as she sat on the bed. I shook me head.

"Why?" Rosalie asked. Rosalie was the only one who pushed me for Edward's _subject._ Alice knows that this subject is difficult for me and let it go. "This is a letter for Edward. I don't know when I'll write one for Jacob too." I shrugged at the last sentences.

"Bella…" Alice sighed. I looked at her. "I have to take the chance Al. What if Jacob is not the one? If he was, why I don't scream his name in my sleep? Why when I hear Edward's name give only attention? Why he sent me, first his letter?" I gave all my answer to Alice. She looked confused. She swiped her eyebrows and lips. She put her thumb down from her jaw.

"I don't know why." She said and sat at my bed. Rosalie was just looking confused. "Maybe it's fate or something Al. Maybe his the one and I hadn't understood it when I should do it. But it never late, right?" I asked, hoping she would give me an answer.

"No, you hadn't across the too late part for losing Edward, but you had across the line I have to hurt one of them." I looked down at my hands. She was damn right. "I have to choose now, Al. if choose stay with Jacob, this letter…" I pointed to the letter in the folder. "Mustn't be ever in Edward's hand, but if…" I trailed off.

"You _choose_ Edward, you have to continue sending him letters and make him fall of you, which I bet he had but he doesn't know it. And when Jacob comes back you'll call off your engagement." Alice clapped her hands.

"Just give me a few days and I'll come with my decision, I promise." I smiled at them.

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Hope you like it!PLs review!


	3. Alice

**Sorry for not post this sooner! I am so sorry!It's small I know!**

**I don't own anything from Twilight because if I did, Edward wouldn't leave in NM!Enjoy.**

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Withered Flowers

Chapter 2

**Alice**

It has been five days since the day I wrote a letter for Edward, and I still haven't sent to him. I don't know what I am expecting for, or what I am hoping. It's just I can't take the risk, I don't want to fall for him, _or_ I think so. The girls told me 'take _your_ time' and I do like they had told me. I am taking my fucking time. Esme visited us last week. She was helpless, sad, a stranger. She wasn't the helpful, kind, known Esme, if you got me.

"Bella! Breakfast is ready!" my father yelled from downstairs. Yeah, I decided move in back with my dad than be with my girl friends. It helped me to take in an order my life, my thoughts but not my heart,

I got up from my soft, warm bed, wore my rode and went downstairs. My dad was in the kitchen, so was Esme. _Esme?_

"Morning Dad…" I paused. "Esme." I said after a while.

"Good morning Bella." My dad told me with his _fake_ happy voice. From that I understood that something bad had happened. "Dad, what's wrong?" I asked agony. Something bad happened. Jacob? Jasper? Emmet? Or even worse Edward?

"**_Alice_**." Esme said and few tears rolled down her checks. Alice? What the hell? I sat on a chair, I was ready to collapse. I put a hand at my forehead and the other at the table. No!

"What happened to her?" I asked. Tears were rolling down to my checks, my heart was hitting like crazy and my mind was empty. "She doesn't eat or drink something. She doesn't go out anymore. She stays at home and cries all day, after this letter came at home." She said and gave me a formal letter.

_Ms Alice M. Cullen_

_ With sad we are informing you that your fiancé Jasper Whitlock is ignored for three days now. We don't know if he is alive or not. We are sorry._

_Army Office._

"I'll go to see her, dad." I said and went back to my room. I took a quickly shower. I wore whatever I found in front of me. I grabbed a bag and threw in clothes, shoes and everything that I'll need.

I went again downstairs, finding a confused father and a helpless Esme. "I'll stay with her for a few days; I'll call to the Army office." I said to them.

"I did too. They don't let me talk with someone who can give me a answer." She said. I thought about a second.

"I'll try too." It was the only thing I said before I had left the house.


	4. More than I should!

I was on Alice's house front door, knocking but don't get an answer. "Alice?" I asked for one hundred times. "Alice!" This time I yelled but still nothing.

I knew from Rosalie that Alice keeps a key for her house in front of door under the small carpet in front of it. I picked up the small carpet and picked up the key. Quickly I opened the door and got it.

When I got in, I found an Alice lying in the floor with a bottle of empty whiskey next to her. I went next to her and tried to wake her up, nothing. My eyes notice a bottle of my sedative pills. I always take them when I have nightmares. I picked it up and I saw that it was empty. OMG!

Quickly I call the 199. "I need an ambulance at Alice Cullen's house. It is an emergency." I told them closed the phone quickly.

I was thankful for living in a small town like Forks, everyone knew where you lived. I put Alice's head on my lap and brushed her hair out of her sight.

"Ms Swan, we have to get her." I turned to look at the guy above Alice's boy. I just nodded and let them get her.

"Bella what happened?" I heard Esme's voice after a while they had took Alice.

"She tried to kill herself. She must be in the hospital. Esme please go and I'll be there in a few." I said simple to her. She nodded and left me at Alice's house, alone.

Quickly, I grabbed her house phone and started dial a phone number.

"Hello?" A man asked me after a bit.

"I need to speak to Edward Cullen." I told the man coldly.

"I am sorry Ms. But it is impossible." This guy was getting on my nerves.

"I need to speak with him, now! I am his fiancé." I sighed. I waited for a minute.

I wasn't pay attention to the phone, until I hear his voice. "Hello?" Edward's voice was confused.

"Edward, I'm Bella." I sat at Alice's armchair. I was playing with a tuff of my hair, waiting for a response.

"Bella? What's going on?" He was totally confused. I took a deep breath.

"Where is Jasper?" I asked him gently. I was nervous.

"With Emmet. They are playing poker with some of other soldiers, why?" He asked me. I was shocked. Jasper was alive and he wasn't missing.

"The Army sent a message to Alice that Jasper Whitlock is missing." I explained to him calmly.

"No, a guy naming Jasper Hale is missing but they found him few hours ago. He has a broken waist and nothing more. How is Al?" He asked. You could recognize his worry from his voice.

"She tried to kill herself with my sedative pills. She thinks that Jasper is DEAD!" I explained to him. I was afraid of his answer.

"What the hell? Where were you and Rosalie? You guys supposed to be her best friends!" He started yelling at me.

"Really? I and Rosalie don't have to be worried about our men like Alice? And let me tell you something, I am not worried only about Jacob…"I took a deep breath. He needs to know it Bells. "I am worried and about you! More than I should!" I hung up the phone before he says something.

I hold my tears, trying relaxing myself as much as I could. I started taking deep breaths and thought what I should next. I decided the obvious, go to hospital.

"How is she?" I asked Esme. She was sitting in the waiting out of the surgery.

"I don't know. She is still in." She shook her had slightly.

I sat next to her and tried to comfort her. "He is fine." I told her with a smile.

"He is?" She was bit confused.

"I talked to Edward. Jasper is fine. It was a misunderstanding with another guy naming Jasper." I told her. A smile appeared at her lips.

"Thank God!" She said and looked up on the ceiling.

"I know." I smiled and rest my head on the wall behind me. Waiting and waiting.

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** I haven't uptade in awhile and I so so sorry! Can you forgive me? School has started and we're still in the easy things. It's my first year at junior high school :) I am finding my inspiration in this story again. Can you do me a favor and read my other story 'Waiting for my SUN'? In one of these days I am going to uptade and there, I promise! I don't have any reviews there and I am sad :( Expect of reviewing can you tell to your friends to read this story? I'd love to read your stories. Send me a message or with your review if you have a story... I'd love to read it =) **

**I love you all,**

**Georgia aka MissGCullen**


	5. The entire Axi's fault

I fell asleep at hospital's waiting room. Esme had to take with her a blanket because I was cover with one. I turned at right to see Esme asleep. I placed the blanket on her and kissed her forehead. Esme was like my mother after mine died from cancer ten years ago. I was only eight and I needed a mother. I stood up and went to find Carlisle. He was a doctor and I was sure that he had taken Alice under his care. I knocked gently his office door.

"Come in." he said professional. I walked inside quickly and I closed the door behind me. "Hello Bella." He welcomed me warmly. "Hey. How is Alice?" I asked after I sat to one of the chairs. "Better. She is awake right now. Her room is the one with 132 number outside." He told me. Without losing a chance I walked out of the office towards Alice's room. I didn't bother to knock, I didn't care if she was going to be mad but she will hear my yells. "Bella!" she said excited. I frowned at her. "Bellaaa…" she said again. "Mary Alice, if you do that again and survive I'll kill you!" I hissed at her. "I am sorry but my Jazzy is dead!" she explained.

"He is alive. They did a misunderstanding at the army." I explained at her. I was sitting in front of her at the bed. "Really?" she was happy. "Yup. Edward told me." I smiled at her. She was happy and well that's all that matters. "Edward?" she raised her eyebrow. "How?" she asked suspicious. "We need to know more for Jasper. They didn't let your mother speak at none, so I called." I simple answered. True it wasn't that simple but she has to know? "Ok." I sighed. Thank god she let it go. "For now." She added and I frowned. We both laugh. "Hey girls." Esme peeked from the door. "Hey mom." Alice sang. "Well, I'll leave you alone. I really need to take a shower and I haven't write yet a letter to Jacob." I said and stood up. Alice shoot me a death glare. "I love you Ali." I gave her a kiss on her check and left the room.

My shower was quickly and helped my thoughts ran into my head. My phone call with Edward was playing all the time like someone had pressed again and again the replay button. Finally, I acceded to hold up my thoughts and wrote Jake's letter.

**_Dear Jacob,_**

**_How are you, babe? I miss you like crazy. Sorry for not writing very soon but something happened with _****_Alice_****_. They sent her a letter, telling her that Jasper was dead but it was a misunderstanding thing. Edward is fine-like Esme told me- and no he didn't send me any letter. Why should he?_**

**_How are the things there? Be careful, babe. Come back soon._**

**_I love you,_**

**_Bella._**

It felt wrong writing only to Jake. I took another paper and I started writing a letter to Edward too.

**_Hey Edward!_**

**_Alice_****_ is fine. She is even better than other time, believe me. Sorry for yelling you over the phone, I was scared. How are you? Here everything is the same expect we don't have many boys. I really miss you. I feel like something is not here with me when I think of you. Is that wrong? Or I am starting realizing my true feelings for you? I am afraid of them Edward, I am scared as hell because of them. Because one day you'll come back, Jacob will come back and I don't know what I'll do._**

**_Be careful,_**

**_Bella._**

I had just opened up a part of my soul in this letter but I had to. I went to the post office that day also. The faster there are in their hands the faster I'll get a letter.

My life was getting very complicate and it was the entire Axis' fault!

**_

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**I am on a good mood today :) Two chapters in two following days, WOW! I am searching for Beta because my English sucks. Do you want to be? Only if you had free program. I don't want to push anyone :) I don't know when the next will be but I hope this weekend. This one is bigger than my usual. I am trying for longer chapters. Be patient with me, my dears. **

**I love you and _Be careful_**

**MissGCullen aka Geogrgia**


	6. Help her to understand

Edward's pov

The days passed like they were years. After Bella's phone I couldn't focus on anything than Alice. I didn't tell anything to Jasper. He was already tense up because of a soldier, who was friend with him, death if I told him about Alice suicide it would kill him.

I was lying on my bed when Tyler shouted. "Cullen, stop being a lazy cat and do something!" and threw me his t-shirt.

"God, man! Haven't you heard about soap?" I said and threw back his t-shirt.

"Whatever, man." He mumbled and turned his focus on his card game with Mike.

I lied back on the bed. I closed my eyes and Bella's images showed up. I know it is wrong to feel something for her. She is my best friend's fiancée but I can't control my feelings. Her words were still haunting my mind.

_"I am worried and about you! More than I should!"_

She was worrying about me too. I never admit it to myself but I had always had a thing for her. I was the first who saw her, talked her but Jacob was the one who won her heart. Sometimes, it hurts me to think her with him. It's killing me to think her with him. But I can do nothing about it. He is the man who is going to be her husband.

"Cullen, you have a letter!" the guy who had taken the responsibility of giving us the letter shouted. I climbed of the bed and went to take my letter.

"Watch it out, man! You stepped on me!" Christopher shouted. "Sorry man!" I yelled from my shoulder. It wasn't my fault that our beds were berths and they didn't have a ladder.

I walked out of the room. I found James at his office in front of our rooms. We had many rooms for different 'activities' as we wanted to call them. "You're fiancée must love you very much, a phone call few days ago and a letter now? I am jealous man." He waved me the letter. I took it from him mad. "Chill, man!" he said and went to his paperwork.

I went out from the 'house'. Many mans were exercising on shooting and others were in the little hospital house next to ours. I found a nice place to sit and opened the letter.

_Hey Edward!_

_Alice__ is fine. She is even better than other time, believe me. Sorry for yelling you over the phone, I was scared. How are you? Here everything is the same expect we don't have many boys. I really miss you. I feel like something is not here with me when I think of you. Is that wrong? Or I am starting realizing my true feelings for you? I am afraid of them Edward, I am scared as hell because of them. Because one day you'll come back, Jacob will come back and I don't know what I'll do._

_Be careful,_

_Bella._

I sighed on relief when I read that Alice is fine. But my sigh was and hopeful. Bella has feelings for me, feelings which she shouldn't have but she does. "Hey dude." Emmet said. I didn't have to turn around to see him. He was the only one here who called everybody 'dude'. "From who is it?" he asked curious. "Bella." I replied softly.

"Be careful dude. She is Jake's girl." He said but he took an eye at the letter. "She loves you." He told me and looked away from the letter. "What?" I whispered. "Edward, she is writing that she won't know what to do when you and Jacob will be back. She loves both of you but I think she loves you more." He said, still looking away.

"I am not sure." I shook my head. Bella would never love me more than Jacob. "Believe me. Rose had written me that Bella is screaming your name at her sleep, never Jacob's. She had a little confession on them after your letter. She told me that she had already written a letter for you. Telling how much she misses and that she is dreaming about you. She is willing to take a chance to understand her feelings for you. Help her to understand how much she loves you." He said and left like he didn't speak to me at all.

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**Here it is. Finally! Some of Edward's pov in this chapter. I don't know what exactly is going when a guy goes to the army. It's seems like Emmet just throw a bomb. It's small excuse me but I don't have time. I hope I'll uptade this weekend. I only need a favor from you. Hit the review button!**


	7. I wasn't talking about Jacob

Bella's pov

It had passed a month since my last letter to Edward. Jacob had send me one too, a few days ago. He was telling me that he loves me and misses me. Here, in Forks, the things were getting weird everyday. Many families from Europe were coming and living here. My father had taken a family, a woman with her two children. They were a very lovely family and I loved being around them, especially Sue. She was reminding me my dead mother, she had died when she I was fifteen from cancer.

I had to move out from the house since there wasn't many space for five people. Esme agreed to let me live at her house. It was nice to have next to me Alice and Rosalie all the time. They were such a nice help when I had nightmares and comforted me when I needed to be comfort. Plus, Alice needed someone to be with her after she had gotten out of the hospital. So, here I was, at my 'new' room, leaning into the window with Edward's letter in my hands. I asked from Alice and Rosalie to be alone when I'll open it. It wasn't a simple letter; it was a letter which would give me push to fight for him and my feelings or to back off.

_Dear Bella,_

_ Today after our gun practice, I lied on my bed and started thinking about the day we met. Do you remember it at all, Brown eye girl? You were running from __Tyler__ and you fell into my arms, I felt whole that moment. The first thing that you said was sorry I am kind of clumsy. But the truth it didn't matter to me. I am pretty sure you heard me chuckle and that's why you shook your head. When you looked up, I saw your eyes. I felt like they were the only eyes I wanted to see when I'd wake up every morning and the only ones when I'd fall asleep at nights. You told me your name and my heart started beating faster than usual. Then, I told you mine and my lips were on your hand outside palm. I remember you blush, something that I'd never forget. But then he came, Brown eye girl. He took your attention and you forgot me. I heard you giggle and my heart broke when it was because he said something funny._

_ So, Bella if you ask me if I am willing to take a chance to make you mine then the answer is yes, because I was expecting this day since that day. I miss your laugh, your eyes, and your blush but when I close my eyes I see them, I hear it. Don't be afraid of me, don't be afraid of Jacob. If he really loves you he will want to see you happy, like I do. I want to see you happy Bella, and this words will be my last if my life end before you be. I think back the times Jacob held you in his arms and his was rocking when you were upset or when he just had you in his arms. I was wishing me to be that person. I am a helpless, hopeless man. I am opening my heart to my best friend's fiancée. _

_Yours,_

_ Edward_

Tears started slipping down at my eyes. They found the soft paper and made softer than it was already. You could still recognize which tears were slipped now and which when Edward was writing the letter. I went and lied on my bed and started thinking of the day we met.

*Flashback*

_I was walking on the road when I was __Tyler__ coming. I started immediately walking faster then I ran. I wasn't in the mood of dealing with him now. He couldn't take no for an answer. I was looking down and I didn't see the people in front of me. _

_"Ow." I said when I stepped on someone. "I am sorry, I am kind of clumsy." Then I heard him chuckle and I shook my head. I looked at him. I saw the most gorgeous green emerald eyes ever. "I'm Bella." I managed to say. "Edward." His said with a voice like velvet. How a man could have a voice like velvet? He took my hand and kissed my outside palm. A blush was already in my checks. _

_"Edward!" a very husky voice said. And then, I saw him. He was tall, with short brown hair and brown eyes. He was attractive, friendly and handsome but nothing like Edward. "Oh, hello nice lady. I am Jacob." He didn't kiss my hand he just smiled._

_"Bella." I smiled back and I got lost in his eyes. "Well, how Eddie managed to meet such a beautiful lady like you? He must pay someone." He said and I giggled like a small child but the man before was still in my mind._

*End of Flashback*

But think it again now; Edward was still in my mind. Every time that Jake and I were meeting outside I was looking for him. I hadn't realized it then but I do now. He was in my mind and other times when I was looking out of my window and it was raining. Then the trees were so green that their color was reminding me his eyes. And now, I just lied in my bed, hearing the rain which just started wishing realizing how stupid I was earlier. Edward was always in my mind but I never took it seriously. As my realization was out tears and sobs were too. I started sobbing like it was the only think I could do. I made myself a ball and continue sobbing.

Alice and Rosalie got in the room and tried to comfort me. Their hands were around my body, shaking and they were whispering "Shh..." while more memories burst in my mind. His smile, when he was talking to me. How drown I was every time he was speaking, how amazed I was from his manners, his tastes in music, books and his hobbies. He liked to ride horses like I did. We often took small rides. One day we found a beautiful meadow.

*Flashback*

_"WOW." I said as we entered a meadow. It was very green with many colorful flowers. "Yeah, wow." He said and climbed off his horse. He came to me and helped me to climb off. _

_"Do you hear it?" he asked me with a smile, still holding my hand from before. "There is a river near." He said and helped me to sit down. I closed my eyes and stood there hearing the birds signing._

_"It's magical here." I whispered. I opened my eyes only to find his green ones. "Yeah, it is." He said softly. I entangled my fingers with his. "I want to get married here one day." I said softly. _

_He shrugged and chuckled. "You may get your wish true if you really want it." he said. He cut a red tulip from next to him and gave it to me. _

_I blushed and thanked him. Weird feelings started taking my body over but I shook them. I really should back off from Edward Cullen before it was too late._

*End of Flashback*

I was shaking for all this new details, for all this new feelings but only one was first and stronger than the others. Love. I was complete madly and deeply in love with him.

"Bella, sweetheart..." Rosalie whispered. I turned to look at her, tears still rolling down. "I love him, Rose. I love him." I shook my head in disbelief. "Hun, we know that. You're marrying him, remember?" she said in a joke tune. I laughed at her. Her expression became confused. Then, I said something that took her out of guard.

"I wasn't speaking about Jacob."

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**I did uptade soon, so I'll keep my head and today. LOL. It's seems like Bella realized something. It's small I know but it gets like that out of me. I write what I want to right. More flashbacks are on the way and more future too. Yeah, I may skip a few years. Review always makes me happier! :)**


	8. She does, she truly does

"What do you mean you weren't talking about Jacob?" Rosalie asked mad, confused, happy? I sat up on my bed and wiped the tears of my eyes. "You heard me, Rose. I wasn't talking about Jacob." I replied again. Alice just stood there, shocked. Her eyes were full with happiness and madness. "Al, are you ok?" I asked her. I place my hand at her right shoulder but she jerked it away.

"You're going to hurt him." She said. Him wasn't Jacob, him was Edward. "No, Al. I love him, more than I love Jacob." And I was sure for it. My love for Jacob wasn't too much powerful as it was for Edward. "Are you sure, sweetie?" she asked with pleading eyes. Edward was her brother and in none way she'd like to see him hurt. "Yeah." I answered. "What will you do, Bella? End the things with Jacob from a letter?" Rosalie asked. I looked down. I couldn't do that.

"I don't know. But I do know that I need to write an answer to Edward. Tell him I am here and my heart belongs to him." I said and stood up from my bed. I went to my wood office and took a paper and a pen. I heard the door shut. I took a deep breath and I started writing.

Edward's pov

"Watch out, Cullen!" Ben said and threw me down. Then, I saw a bullet hitting a sack of flour which was behind me. "Thanks man." I said after Ben had gotten off me. "It's ok. I know you'd do the same thing for me." He said and patted my back. I watched him walking towards the rest of the guys. I followed him. "Edward you have a letter." Emmet said and he gave it to me with a beer. "You didn't read her last one." He also commented. I glared at him and gave him back the letter. I didn't need to read her

Rejection again. I took the beer and went at my dorm. Mike and Tyler called me to play cards with them but I just went to my bed. I lied down and closed my eyes. She was all over my mind. I was about to fell asleep when Emmet's voice woke me. "She cries all the time. She barely eats and speaks to Al and Rose. Rosalie told me that Bella admit her love for you. She wrote you a letter telling you how willing is to take a chance. And you moron haven't read the letter yet!" he said and threw me two letters. One opened and one not opened. I took the opened one and started reading it.

_Dear Edward,_

_ Life is full of chances and I like to take them when they won't hurt anyone...but I am willing to take a chance with you. I know, Jacob is going to suffer but I can't lie with my feelings anymore. I sitting here thinking about the day we met. Even when he made me giggle you were the one who was still in my mind. I remember the day we discover the meadow. That was the day I fell in love with you. I didn't get it then, not totally with all the meaning of the word, I knew something was changing and that's why I asked you to stop our rides._

_ I'm sure you know, I can't end the things with Jacob over a letter, so I hope you'll understand that we need to wait to be together without being afraid of admitting it. I love you. It feels nice to say it or better to write it but right now, I live for the way that I am going to tell you I love you._

_Yours,_

_ Bella_

She loved me, she really did. And I, the jerk, pushed her away because I didn't read the entire letter. I am such and idiot sometimes. I took the other letter in my hands and opened it.

_Dear Edward,_

_ What the hell is going on? Why you haven't yet answered my letter? I am getting worried over here. Please reply soon. I love you._

_Yours,_

_ Bella_

"Ben!" I yelled to him. "What man?" he asked confused. "I need a paper and a pen." I said and climb off the bed. "Got it." he said and gave them to me. "Thanks buddy." I said and patted him in the back as he did before. "I hope this girl deserves that I saved your life." He smirked at me. "She does, she truly does." I said and thanked him one more time.

Bella's pov

I was walking up and down at Esme's living room. My hands were on my waist. I was sighing all the time. "Bella, you're going to make a hole to the floor. Please, sit down!" Alice told me. I glared at her and continue walking.

Outside was raining and Rosalie had gone to the post office to see if Emmet had sent her a letter. How jealous I was of her and Alice. They were with the man who they wanted to be. I wasn't. I still remember Jacob's letter. I couldn't write a replay back, not before Edward sends me his.

We heard the door open and close. "Damn rain." We heard Rosalie curse under her breath. She put her umbrella to a bin and took out her jacket. "Swan, you got a letter." She said after she had entered the room.

"From who?" Alice asked curious. Rosalie sat on the couch and waved me to sit. I did as she asked. "I'm going to read it." she said and started opening it. "But…" she put a finger on my mouth. "Not buts." She said and she started reading.

_Dear Bella,_

_ You can't imagine how stupid I feel right now. When I opened your first letter, I didn't read it all. Only the first sentence. 'Life is full of chances and I like to take them when they won't hurt anyone...' I thought that this was your rejection. I couldn't bear to read more. This kept my mind busy. Today, I almost got killed. Ben saved me. You do remember Ben, right? Angela's husband? Yeah, he saved me. then, the very same day the second letter came. I didn't read. I gave it to Emmet. He threw me the letters and told me that you were willing to take a chance. I should thank Rosalie here._

"Of course, he should. If I hadn't told Emmet for you, you'd still wait." Rosalie made a face. I hit her back of head and she started reading again.

_ I know how free you feel when you say I love you. So, I love you. More than you can imagine. I know, it hurts you to keep this away from Jacob but you need to. If he learns it now he'll probably get killed by himself or by the enemy. Bella, I count the days until I'll have you in my arms. You're everything to me._

_ With love, _

_ Edward_

"At least he is not that stupid." Alice said and we all laughed. A burned got off of my shoulders, today.

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**I'm here! I hope you guys like it. Pls Review. I don't ask that much, do I? And If I do forgive me. The next one will be more intersting. The real story is about to begin! ;)**


	9. Only time will show me

A year later

Bella's pov

It had passed a year since the war had started. American wasn't involved yet but Jacob was in Paris, and Paris was involved in the war. Edward was ok. Staying on Pearl Harbor was good for him. The army found him good and they asked him to stay there and train the newcomers until the war was over. Gladly, he had agreed not that he had other choice too.

I and he continued sending letters to each other falling in love again. My dad had understood my stupid smile on my face when I take a letter from him and when I had read it. But sadly, he thought that the letters were from Jacob. Nor, that I wasn't sending him letters but they were more diluted than with Edward's.

I was still living with the Cullen's. Dad had got married with the woman from the family he was giving a home. I didn't have a problem with that, or, now. If he was happy then I didn't have anything to say. I and Alice helped Esme with the garden. Gardening was a nice hobby to help forget about your problems. Rosalie wasn't so in for that. Her parents wanted her to marry an old man, Royce King. He was almost 45 and he could be her father. Rosalie was and is always so sad. Esme and Carlisle try to persuade her parents to wait until Emmet comes back. They promised to stop but if Emmet comes back and doesn't ask Rosalie hand in marriage then… She'd marry Mr King.

"Mom, what flowers we'll plant today?" Alice asked when she entered the kitchen, I and Esme where already in there, drinking our tea. It was early morning, the sun wasn't out yet. The perfect time to plant flowers like Esme says. "Zinnia." She answered. "I love this type of flowers." I said. "Yeah. Me too." Alice replied. She put tea in a cup and sat down at a chair. "I miss Jazz." She admitted. She hadn't seen him in a year. "I believe you, Alice." I said to her. She knew how bad I was. Believing her was the only way to thank her.

"He'll be home soon enough. So, will your brothers. Emmet will marry Rosalie and Edward Rachel." Esme said with a smile. Rachel? "Rachel?" I and Alice yelled. "Yeah. I and Carlisle asked her hand from Billy. She is very happy about it." she said happy. No, no this can not happening. NO! "Fuck." I cursed in a whisper. But Esme hear it. "Bella, are you alright? You should be happy. You always saw Edward as your brother. Now, he has the chance to be." She said. Damn it! If she knew how much I want to kiss and fuck her son, then she wouldn't say things like that.

"Mom," Alice took Esme attention. "Bella and Edward are in love with each other." She said my secret. I turned and looked at her in horror. How could she? "What? How? You're kidding. Bella?" she turned to look at me but I looked down. I couldn't face her. She sighed. "I'll talk with Carlisle." She said. "NO! Please, Esme." I begged her. "I won't tell him, your secret. Just we should re-think about Edward and Rachel getting married." She said and took my hand in her hands. "I've always seen you like a daughter Bella. I've always wanted to see you in my son's side. I just, I never expressed my wish. And now that there is a chance to have you to two together, I won't let it go because of the Black family." She told me. Tears were rolling down on my checks.

I stood up and hugged her. "Thank you." I told her and hugged her tighter. "You're welcome, sweetie." She hugged me back. When we finished our tea we went to the garden. Zinnias were beautiful flowers. "These flowers are amazing!" Alice cheered. "Yeah. They smell amazing, too." I agreed with her. "Zinnia means thoughts that run on missing friends" Esme informed us. They were perfect for our situation. "When they'll be grow up?" I asked her. I really wanted to send some to Edward. "Four-five months, can't be sure." She replied. I've always sent some flowers to Edward.

I watched Esme while she was sawing how to plant them. She always did that when we were planting a new flower. She says that you have to see first from the teacher than try on your own the first time. And she is absolutely right! Once, Alice and I tried to plant and let me say, the result was very disappointing. "Is any one of you Ms Swan?" the mailman asked us. It had passed a few hours after we had begun planting. "I am, why?" I asked him confused. Usually, the letters are staying in the post office and someone of us goes and gets them.

"It's a letter, from the army." He informed me. Then, my heart stopped beating for a while. It wasn't a good letter, it was a bad one.

_*Flashback*_

_"Did you went to the post office to take the letter or someone brought it to you?" I asked __Alice__. We were in the hospital; at the room she was in. we were talking how she 'learned' about Jasper situation._

_"Someone brought it. The mailman. He was tall with black hair and a few white hairs. His eyes were black like dark sky. I was afraid of him, of his news. And my __instinct was damn right." She explained to me. after, that I told her how I managed to talk to Edward. She was furious about it. she didn't like my lie but she thanked me. _

_*End of Flashback*_

"Thank you." I shuttered and took the letter from the man. He was like Alice had described almost a year ago. "Have a nice day, Ms Swan." He told me and left. "Yeah, I had until now." I said and opened the letter.

**_Dear Ms Isabella Marie Swan,_**

**_With a very heavy heart we are writing to infrom you about your fiance's death. Mr Jacob Daniel Black was killed by the enemy at his try to save one of his friends. He was in one of our biggest ship Sadly, his body wasn't found because it felt into the deep sea. _**

**_Yours sincerely,_**

**_Marcu Volturi_**

"Bella?" Alice asked. "Bella!" Alice yelled this time. Tears were rolling down on my checks, my breathes were getting less and less and finally I started crying and sobbing.

Esme came and hugged, so did Alice. They took me inside the house. The letter was a ball now in my hands. I had been laying in the couch, for hours until I saw Billy, Jacob'd father, entering the room.

"They sent you a letter, too?" he asked me with red eyes. I couldn't speak. My throat was dry. I nodded. "It's not a mistake like, Jasper. I spoke with them." He shook his head. Billy had given up all for Jacob. He may was in a weelchair but he raised Jacob and Rachel very well.

"What is going to happen now?" I asked with all the streng I had. "The funeral will be this Thrusday. Three days without today. I call Edward." In the sound of his name I focused my eyes on Billy. "The gave him the free to go until next Monday. He is coming tonight or tomorrow morning." He smiled at me. I smiled back.

"What about his friends?" I asked him. Jacob had wroten me many times about Sam, Paul, Quila and Jared. "They'll come with his things. That we'll going to put in the coffin." He sighed. "I am going to let you rest. The next days will be so emotional." He told me and I heard the door slammed.

I went to my room running. I need to think, to decide. Edward arrivess was about to make everythig more difficult or easier. Only time will show me.

**As I promised at my last chapter the story has just begun! Poor Jake, not that I am a fan, but die and your fiance wants to be in another's man arms. Next one will have a Bella-Edward special scene. Reviews are better than funerals**


	10. A Friend That I Betrayed

Edward's pov

A year had passed since the war has started but we weren't yet involved. Although, sometimes, I hear my seniors talking about Japan being an ally of German and Italy, also, German was starting to be more powerful than ever. If I say that I don't care about it, I will lie. I do care. My best friend is out there, in France, anything might happen at him. _Anything._

I looked around me and saw most of them men opening letters from their families. Since the war was growing in Europe, America was trying to recruit more and more men, even sometimes the men weren't men about boys. I shook my head. I was a boy when I came here, I am still a boy. The seniors here say that I have a future at the army, I believe them but I don't know if that's what I want to do. Being a doctor like my father was always my dream, since I was a little kid.

"Edward! Edward!" I heard my name being yelled. I turned to found, Thomas. He was new here and only thirteen. He was the youngest here and my favorite.

"What is it, buddy?" I asked him and pinched his nose.

"France was attacked. They send you back at home for a funeral of a friend." He said as he was trying to breathe. He has must be running since the 'post office' was far away from where I was.

"What? A funeral? What did they say to you?" I asked him while I was rumbling from the shock. "Who died Thomas? Who?" I asked raising my voice a bit.

"A lot of guys, Edward. Your friend's name was Jacob. Jacob Black." Then I froze. Jake, Jacob, he was dead, he was gone. _Gone. _

"I'll be back." I said and started running towards the central office. It couldn't be true. God couldn't take me my best friend, no he couldn't. God, if that is my repaying for falling for Bella, then you are good to give us what we deserve. I mean we were going to hurt him in any other way and that would break him, so you took him away from us and we would break.

"Mr. Cullen, I see you get our message." The Sergeant said. He was a tall man with blue eyes and gray hair. Actually, he isn't scary but when he lets his moustache then he can be scary. Once, Emmett almost peed himself when he was him.

_*Flashback*_

"_Roua Mat." Jasper said as he made his move at the chess. Emmett wiped his sweat from his forehead. He put his hand on his knees and his chin into his palms. Everyone here knew not to challenge Jasper at a chess but Emmett, always as a five year old boy in a body of a twenty years old man, he decided to do it. Likewise, they put a bet too. The one who lose had to carry the weapons when the winner's day was normally. Like it seemed Emmett was about to lost the bet and carry the weapons for two whole months. He was unlucky because when Jasper duty to carry the weapons was over, it was Emmett's turn to do it. I won't say poor him because he knew not to challenge Jas at chess. _

"_Damn, my back is going to hurt a lot." Emmett mumbled lowly but everyone around him could hear him. "Because of that I won't be able to give to Ice Queen any children." He mumbled again. Jasper didn't seem to hear him the first time but he did at second. _

"_Did you jut called my cousin Ice Queen? She is so going to kill when she hears about it." Jasper said and started laughing very hard. Emmett wanted to play cool laid back at his chair and told Jasper. "When she doesn't know about, then, she won't kill me." Jasper laughed ever harder. Alice didn't lose him back when the told her that she had and now she was going to lose him because of laughing. Great way to die. _

"_How said that she won't know about it?" he said. He stood up and walked over the only desk we had in our chamber. He picked up a paper and pen and started writing. _

"_Dear cousin, _

_Today your great amazing stupid jerk boyfriend challenged me in a game of chess. He lost of course. We put a bet that the one who lost is going to carry the weapons for the other when his turn was. Emmett said his back was going to hurt a lot and because of that he won't be able to give any children to Ice Queen. I believe you can guess who is 'Ice Queen'. _

_Any way it was nice talking to you._

_With all my love,_

_Jasper."_

_He finished writing and talking at the same time. Emmett looked terrified. He walked over to Jasper and tried to take the letter from his hands. It was nice to see him trying. Emmett might be tall and muscle but Jasper was thin and very lissome. _

"_Cullen, Whitlock, McCarty! What the fuck are you doing here?" Sergeant said with his serious tone. I turned and made the army greeting. So did Jasper but Emmett being Emmett decided to say. "For God's sake Bill, I almost peed myself with that scary, serious, sexy voice of yours." Yup, he even managed to say sexy in a way our Sergeant. _

_*End of Flashback*_

I shook of that memory. "Yes, I did." I saw him walking over his office and waved to follow him. We got into his office and I saw my bag. It probably had my things in. "Is it true?" I asked, not wanting to believe. He sadly nodded. "France was attacked last week. They didn't know how was missing until a few hours ago. I'm sadly to inform you," "That my friend was killed, too. I know Thomas told me." I cut him off. I wasn't in the mood for talking. I wanted, no, I needed to be back at home as soon as possible.

"You're leaving tonight. You'll stay there only five days and four nights, got it?" he asked in a serious tone. I nodded, "Got it." He looked down at his desk, then, at me. "I'm sorry, Edward. Is there anyone who will make you feel better?" he asked with a hopeful hidden smile.

"Yeah but it doesn't matter. She is not mine. She was his." I sort of explain my relationship with Bella which in any way it would come into an end. God was punishing us with Jacob's lose because what we were doing was wrong. Very wrong.

"Do you want to talk about it my boy?" he asked and offered me a chair. I sat down. "I guess I don't have a choice. I needed to say my situation to someone stranger." I turned to look at him. "If you know what I mean." He nodded and told me to go on.

"Jacob and I were friends since we were babies. We used to name us brothers not by blood. He was never a shy guy, I always was. He knew how to charm the ladies, when I didn't. He liked to court, a lot. Until, he found his match, his sun, his life, his everything. His fiancée was the best thing he ever happened to him, like he said." I stopped and took a breath. I dared to look at opposite. Bella was here with a black dress, hat and shoes. Tears were running down in her eyes.

"He loved her, he wanted to make a family with her and make his forever. He wanted her to be safe and in one piece. When he was supposed to be back they would have gotten married and have an amazing family. Its hurt to know that my friend, my brother would never have and complete any of his dreams. I don't know how everyone will deal with his memory and death but I will never forget, never. He was always a good man that was never meant to live his life as he had planned. And that something that I'll be thinking when I would live mine." I finished my speech. It was hard, very hard to say goodbye to my friend. A friend that I betrayed. I let my tears to slip away. I had held them so many hours since the painful talk with my Sergeant, my talk with my family and especially my talk with Bella. A woman that I would never call mine, only in my dreams.

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**I am sorry for posting so late but I had a difficult school year but I still I don't have any explanations. Anyway, sorry for gramma mistakes or anyother kind of. I wish I had someone to look it before I uptade but anyaway. It's small and at the other chapter I hope you will see the conversation with Bella. I love you all. **


	11. Just Wake Up

**Bella's pov**

There is a point in your life when you wished nothing had changed. For me that point was now. It was the moment I was seeing my fiancé getting buried. I felt guilty, I felt dirty and very filthy. I felt Esme's gaze on me. I felt Alice's gaze on me. Then it was Rosalie's, Emmett's. Actually, I could feel everyone's gaze on me but the one which hurt the most was his gaze.

A new river of tears start running from my eyes and a new wave of sobs got out of my mouth. I didn't only lose Jake but Edward, too. He told me that because of what we were doing Jake lost his life, because of what we were feeling. It's such a shame because we did nothing wrong or felt. Love must be pure, real and right and not sinner, fake and wrong. We didn't sinned because we felt in love but he believes the exactly opposite and I'm not going to change his mind if he doesn't want it.

"_He__ was always a good man that was never meant to live his life as he had planned. And that something that I'll be thinking when I would live mine." _ With that Edward finished his speech. You could hear from his voice in how much pain he was in. I wanted to wrap my arms around him like I did the night he came at me. I want to comfort him and tell him that everything is going be alright. I took my eyes from the ground and I met his green once.

Some much regret was in it, although you could see the love inside of them.

*Flashback*

_It was two nights before Jacob's funeral, since Edward came back I have returned at my father's house. It's kind of frustrating because I don't have my old room and any space here. You see, after I left the house and dad married Sue her children got more comfortable with the house and changed it a little bit to their liking. Actually, I don't care, I like the way they changed it. It's friendlier. _

_Also, since I came back to my house Edward hasn't talked to me at all. Every time I go to Cullen's house Alice says that he is out with friends or with Jacob's sister Rachel. I absolutely hated her for spending so much time with him. He supposed to be in love with me and not her. He has been here already two days and three nights but still he hasn't come to visit me. _

_It was raining outside, like it normal does at Forks. Also, the whole town was mourning for Jacob's and Embry's lost. two great guys who gave up their life at the war. Everyone here looked Edward, Emmett and Jasper with such a pride and indifference, like they weren't in the war but in a vacation at Hawaii. I want to punch them, I really do. _

_As I was lost to my thoughts, I heard something hitting the window. I walked and looked out. Edward was there and he was wet and cold. I grabbed a towel and I ran out of the house without caring about me getting wet. _

"_What the heck Edward? You're going to catch a cold." I said as I wrapped the towel around him. "You really found the right time to come and see me." I said and rubbed the towel on him. _

"_I hadn't found the courage to come and talk to you until now, Isabella." Oh no. something is bad. He only calls me Isabella when we have to be formal. _

"_Edward cut the crap, now. What it's going on?" I asked him as I walked us at my house porch. "We can't be together, Bella. That's brought us to this mess. Our feelings did." He said as he took off the towel._

"_Edward, don't. Don't do it." I pleaded him but he shook his head. "When I'll come back I'll marry Rachel like my parents want me to. I'm going to make my best friend happy and not sad and mad at me. Our love is forbidden, Bella." I couldn't take it no more. I slapped him, hard, on the face._

"_Forbidden? Are you playing with me? If you truly loved me, you wouldn't do this. You would have fight for me. But you're pathetic. You wanted me only because Jacob had me and now he is out of the picture I'm too. Have a good life, Edward Cullen." I said and turned to walk away. But he stopped me; he turned me around and pressed his lips on mine, firmly. _

_I couldn't stop myself, I kissed him back but it was soon over. "Have a good life, Isabella Swan." Then he was the one who walked away._

*End of Flashback*

"Sweetheart, are you alright?" my dad asked me as we walked out of the cemetery. I shook my head and he took me in his embrace. "Shh, everything is alright." He tried to comfort me with soft words, but nothing was alright. I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell but I kept my mouth shut. I only let the tears escape before my big breakdown. Without understanding it, I felt down and everything went dark.

Edward's pov

It fucking hurt seeing her like this. When her brown eyes looked into mine, regret hit me. I was a part of her mess. I love her with all my heart and that love made me promise to never hurt her. Although, I broke that promise. I hurt her, I could sense it in the air, I could see it in her eyes, and I tasted it in her lips when I kissed her. _Kissed her._ I was an asshole at that point to the three of us, _Me, Bella and Jake, but_ it was impossible not to.

As the ceremony ended, we started walking out of the cemetery towards our cars. I felt an arm wrapped around me. I turned to see my sister. "I'm so sorry, brother." She said and I kissed her softly on her forehead. "I am, too." I replied.

"Bella!" we heard Charlie yelling at some point. We turned to see a Bella lying down with Charlie's arms around her. Immediately, I let Alice and ran towards him. "What happened?" I asked him as I took her in my arms.

"I don't know! She was up and then down! All happened so quickly!" he yelled in his panic. I place her head in on my arm and tried to wake her up. "Does any one have some water?" I asked with anger. Everybody was just standing there looking at her.

I got her up in a bridal style and started walking towards our car. My father was already in when I got in and asked him to take us in our house. "Is she going to be ok?" my mother asked from the front. "I guess so, mum. Maybe all the pressure came in today." I replied while I looked down at my angel. Just wake up, love. Just wake up and I'll take everything back. I'll be yours forever. Just wake up.

**It's small guys and I don't update often but at least you can understand what's going on. I hope I get the opportunity to update soon and there is a new story that I work on and I hope it will be out soon. **


	12. Now, I know what I have to do

**Edward's pov**

It was hard to see my girl so fragile knowing that I had most of the blame. Holding her in my arms while she was passed out was a kind of relief, because I knew that in my arms she was safe.

"Is she going to be alright?" I asked my father after I saw him coming out from her room. My father nodded, "Nothing is wrong with her. Her body didn't know how to handle all these pressure." He told me.

I sighed in relief. Just knowing that she was okay made everything much better. "Look, son." My father said trying to get my attention. "I don't know what's going on between you and Bella, but it has to stop." He told me.

I turned to look at him. "Stop? Do you really want to know that stopping it is one of the reasons Bella is like this now?" I asked him. He kid of looked surprise. "Your mother and I still haven't asked Billy for Rachel's hand. I always respected your decisions and I'm going to respect your decision again. But if you haven't made one until you leave, I'll make one." And with these words he left the room.

I knew that I had to make a decision and I thought I had made that night, hell the day I learn about Jacob's death, but it was pretty clear that I still haven't decided what I wanted to do.

I still remember what my Sergeant had told me that day. _'I'm going to tell you a few words, and then the decision is yours.' _A few words I didn't take into consideration.

_*Flashback*_

_"Jacob and I were friends since we were babies. We used to name us brothers not by blood. He was never a shy guy, I always was. He knew how to charm the ladies, when I didn't. He liked to court, a lot. Until, he found his match, his sun, his life, his everything. His fiancée was the best thing he ever happened to him, like he said." I stopped and took a breath. _

"_I met Bella, Jacob's fiancée, when she stepped on me. The first time I lay my eyes on her, I lost it. I knew that she was the one for me. But," I sighed. I grabbed my head with both of my hands and sighed again. _

"_But he was smitten by her like she was with him, am I right son?" my Sergeant asked me. I nodded since I couldn't speak. "But?" he asked. _

"_I tried to step back, I really did but I couldn't. She was always there. But, when I left for the war I sent her letters. If there was a possibility I could die, I had to make sure she would know how I felt." I told him. I heard him sigh. _

"_She loves you, doesn't she?" he asked again. I nodded. "I love her, too." I admitted to him. _

"_Listen, son. I'm going to tell you a few words and then the decision is yours." He started saying. "I know it's cliché but 'follow you heart' is the best advice I can give you. Plus, you may want a story of mine as well." he said. _

"_My wife's and mine parents were best friend for years. While hers was only blessed with a girl, my parents had the 'blessing' to have two boys. My brother and I. I was the oldest while my brother, Frank, was the youngest. My wife was a two years younger than me but she was at the same age with my brother." He took a huge breath. "They knew how much I loved her and how much she loved me but both families, mine and hers; insist on marrying her with my brother. The day of the wedding I flipped out, I couldn't take that the woman I loved was marring someone else, especially my brother. It was so hard to take it. _

_I went into her room and talked to her. I told her how much I loved her and that if she left right then with me I'd anything to make her not regretting that decision. Fortunately, she agreed but she asked to speak with my brother. Frank was not surprised to see us together in the room. He said that he understood completely, when we try to explain him, and even though he loved her a lot he knew that he could never make her as happy as I could do." He said and a smile appeared on his face._

"_That day of their wedding, I let my heart guide me and not my head. I suggest you doing the same." He said in a fatherly tone. "Now, go!" he said with a changed voice. _

_*End of Flashback*_

Now, I know what I have to do.

* * *

**Small, I know? But I couldn't let you anymore without a chapter and I remember promising putting the 'little' talk with Sergeant Bill. Sorry for any grammar, vocabulary and syntax mistake. I didn't have the time to look it again. I seriously don't know when the next chapter is going to be since I won't be home for a whole week in April and with exams so fucking close(yeah but that means summer is near, too :D) but Easter is around the corner, right? I love you all so much. 3**

**Georgia**


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